Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Who wants it?
I just watched Narnia and was reminded of the reality that we as humans are called to live in our own world. We have learned from our childhood dreams all we can, and now we must learn to live.
I wrote some poetry about this same reality last month and it seemed so appropriate to the moment
Waking up is hard.
To untangle one's self from the sticky web of dreams,
To lift from one's mind the fog of drowsiness,
Is the hard task of living.
The dreams that run through our subconscious minds
are just that, dreams.
They can not sustain us,
nor can they live by themselves.
It is our task to live.
To be human is to have all the capacities in the world carefully knit into our being,
All the incomprehensible wonders of the universe,
All the incredible burden of being awake.
In the garden we were fully awake.
It is what made us and separates us from our fellow creatures,
That we have the capacity to be awake.
We saw, as one alert and alive.
Now we see but through a glass darkly.
It is so hard to wake up,
And so easy to forget the reality of our situation.
I do not want to wake up most days.
I lay in bed and wish that I could spend all my years forgetting who I am,
to sink into the delightful realms of oblivion,
and forget that reality knocks on my soul.
To be asleep is to lose one's self in the vast and restful words of emptiness.
I am not challenged by my dreams.
They are all in my mind, and can not hurt me.
In the darkness behind my eyelids I can imagine all I want to.
It is so easy to be nothing more than the subconscious.
We have no cares, no obligations, for we have forsaken responsibility.
To live is to recognize the faces that peer through the windows of your dreams;
To hear the voices that scream their messages in hushed whispers.
We can not drug ourselves without consequence,
the lethargy of our dreams are a dying fantasy, empty as our own existance.
What comes of our dreams?
We are as our dreams, floating in and out of oblivion,
We are as ones lost in blissful forgetfulness.
There is some part of us that rebells against it,
That is restless to move, to breath, to escape the confines of the pillow.
There is a part of us all that is searching to escape the chains of our dreams.
Awake O sleeper, arise from death!
Abandon the shadows of night!
The Wind of the spirit shall be your breath, and the Light of heaven your sun.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Surely, for I am a stranger
In vain my own road I have sought,
I have come upon the realm of the gods,
Who rule in this world I know not.
About and below me lies nothing,
But darkness incessant and vast,
A nothingness stretching eternally on, into
Undying black, unsurpassed.
A wind from the north blows about me,
And seizes my lungs with its breath,
Clean and as clear as the mountainous rain,
Yet cold as the stalking of death.
Then suddenly high overhead me,
I see something flash into life,
White fire that burns for a moment in time,
Like the gleam on the blade of a knife.
My eyes now are open to witness
As suddenly they come to see,
Beauty brought forth from a desolate waste,
As Venus was born from the sea,
The spell of some heavenly jeweler,
Hath shown me his ebony plaque,
Diamonds lie glittering where they are cast,
Against the rich velvet of black.
Placed by the hands of a master,
They frame a pristine orb of light,
A pearl from the depths of a starless abyss
The moon in her glory and might.
She shines like a pendent of silver,
Stephanite etched in her gleam
She hangs by her chain just eluding my grasp,
The wish of some fast fading dream.
What god have I met in my travels,
Who’s art can arise to compare?
For beauty is wielded by beings divine,
And never were such things so fair.
My soul is at rest in my breast,
Relax now my roamings can I,
For mine eyes hath witnessed the gems of a God.
Awake in a desolate sky.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
I have often wondered why my friends from public-school always fret about their final exams, why they spend countless hours studying for a test that sums up their year. Now I know. So far, all I have accomplished in this small coffee shop is a fair amount of worrying and slaving over my mat-lab code, trying to imagine what Hooke's Law and Archimede's Principle are doing on the same assignment, and trying to stay sane while I examine the fine points of this silly code. I can not seem to concentrate, even though I left my house and all possible distractions behind me when I came here. My house is the least conducive place to studying I think on the face of this planet. Five noisy siblings running around, (God bless them), and hard working parents with short tempers. I must say, my parents have far more patience than I could ever hope to have. Now to tackle Humane Letter's Orals, reviewing Sophocles, Aristotle, Augustine, the Illiad, the Odyssey, Aeschylus, Athanasius, Plato's Dialogues, the Republic, Gorgias, and Thucydides. I love philosophy, but my brain is going to crack under all this stress shortly. O, and I just found out I forgot to turn in my Calculus project, and my Boyle's Law lab, and my notes from Global Issues.
Summer will just have to wait another week.